We've Made It Simpler. There's a Form.
Good news. The process has been simplified. You now only need to complete three forms to explain why you cannot complete the first one.
Wonderful news.
The organisation has listened to your feedback.
Apparently, the old system was unnecessarily complicated.
So they've introduced a new one.
It's much simpler.
First, you complete a form explaining what you need.
Then another form confirming that you really need it.
And finally, a short questionnaire about your experience of completing the previous two forms.
Your feedback is important.
Naturally, the questionnaire is compulsory.
There's also an accessible version available.
To request it, simply log into the portal, locate the accessibility section, download the request document, print it, sign it and upload a scanned copy.
Can't access the portal?
Not a problem.
There's a form for that too.
Alternatively, you can contact the IT department.
They're available during your lunch break.
Convenient, isn't it?
Simply call, explain your problem, receive a reference number and log your query on the system.
The same system you cannot access.
If you're unable to call during lunch, you're welcome to contact them after finishing your actual job.
Please remember that all technical issues must be reported within working hours.
We appreciate your patience.
And your flexibility.
And, apparently, your unpaid time.
Your query is important to us.
It is currently number 47 in the queue.
Of course, if you require assistance completing the form, you must first provide evidence that you require assistance.
Preferably in writing.
We appreciate that some people may find this process challenging.
That's why we've included a helpful statement at the bottom of every page:
We are committed to making our services accessible to everyone.
In very small print.
The organisation is delighted to announce that, following extensive consultation, the entire process has now been reduced from seven steps to five.
The three additional verification stages are not counted as steps.
They're safeguards.
And if you're still struggling, please don't hesitate to contact the support team.
They'll be happy to direct you to the website.
The process is now officially simpler.
The only remaining complication is the person trying to use it.
A Thought from Under the Pink Hat
AS visible - You matter. Full stop.